The USS Midway

My mother-in-law was here in San Diego over the weekend to visit! Mason has always wanted to go on the USS Midway and do the tour, so we explored San Diego like real tourists on Saturday!

Learning New Truths

"Here is a simple rule-of-thumb guide to behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get" Matthew 7:12

I think one of the hardest issues I have working in the ER is not judging people. I know that it really shouldn't be an issue but it is. Plain and simple. I have a hard time with this.

When you walk into a patient's room and see them reliving an animated story with their friend, laughing and carrying on and then ask them what their pain level is and they say "10/10! Its excruciating! I can't take another minute of it or I will die!"... It is hard to take them seriously. I know it is not my place to rate their pain for them, but I find that I often do.

I find that the more I judge my patients, the more I become calloused and choose to believe they are lying to me. 

Matthew 7:2 says "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Heavy.

Last week Mason was home sick. At first I thought his symptoms were only a cold. I started giving him a hard time about staying home from work because I thought he should be able to handle these symptoms (me perceiving how he is feeling and making a judgement call). Turns out, I come home from work and he has a temp of 103.2 and needs to go to urgent care because he has Influenza! How awful do I feel?? I am so used to patients "playing sick" that I actually assumed my husband was also. 

Mason then said to me, "Its not my fault that you are taking care of people all day that are ACTUALLY DYING and I am home with a cold..."

I have such a far way to go. 

I learned from him then, in that moment, that I cannot assume. I need to be able to separate each and every patient, be it a patient at work or a family member that is sick. I need to see each and every one as someone who I have never seen before. TO LISTEN TO THEM. To have compassion. To not jump to conclusions. 

Thank you Lord for teaching me new truths through your word and through my husband. Please give my the courage and strength to put them into action. 

Lucky

When my husband walked through the door I threw my arms around him. How perfect they fit around him. How he knows my thoughts before I speak. How he laughs from my expression only and says, "where did you come from??" How we make up names for our alter-egos that annoy us. How one squeeze from his hand alerts me to make a quick look around me to see what hot mess just walked by so we can talk about it later. How lucky am I to be his <3

The Daily Walk

Micah 6:6-8
"With what shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. "


This verse has been replaying itself over and over in my mind. There is so much in there...


And what does the Lord require? The same things then as He does now. The hard things to live by. The daily sacrifice to self. "To act justly and love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."


What does it mean to act justly and yet to love mercy at the same time? Doesn't that seem to contradict itself? When I think of JUSTICE, I think of an eye for an eye, the wrong being righted by punishment, the weak being represented by the strong. But when I think of mercy... I think of grace. I think of someone extending a hand to help the fallen when they don't deserve it. The definition of mercy is "compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power."  


See what I mean? Are we now talking about a merciful justice? Justice that seems to look through the lens of mercy before making a step of judgement? 


And isn't that how the Lord is... merciful and just. My protector, the one that goes before me and the one that is so ready to forgive me of the wrongs I have committed against Him. But the one that HAD TO DIE for me because of all that I have done. He follows His rules but extends grace and mercy along with every move. How amazing is that? 


"...and to walk humbly with your God" I love that getting to "walk" with our God is something that is good and that is required of us. How amazing is our God that He would want to walk with us? 


And what does it mean to walk humbly with our God? If I was physically walking next to the Lord daily I would not be able to help feeling humble in His presence. I would rightfully be shown how small and insignificant I am standing next to Him. And if I am honest, I hope there would be no room for my pride standing in His glory. 


But isn't my life supposed to reflect that? I know He is present. I know that when I am in prayer with Him, it is a conversation and that, mindfully, I should be humbly walking with Him daily. So why am I so selfish? Why do I come first before so many other people in my life? Why is it so hard to JUST BE HUMBLE? 


I know there is a reason for the last part of this verse. I cannot do it on my own. It has to be the Lord's justice and mercy, His humble heart within me. It is the act of "walking with your God" that can transform a heart into something that will reflect Him. 

Friendship Blessings

... Its that moment when you are surrounded by other women that know you inside out. They know your heart, your struggles, your response before you say it. They say things like "That is soooo D!" because they know me.

What an amazing realization. I am myself with these women.

I can lay my burdens on the table and be sure that through the week they will be praying for me. Not judging me. They will be thinking of me as they pray for their own families and struggles.

I am not alone in this.

I don't have to fake "having it all together."

The Lord has given me so many blessings, more than I could ever try to count; this being one of them: women following after the Lord with abandon and encouraging me in the same way.

"Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?" -C.S. Lewis

Colossians 3:12-17

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.